On the bigger mental health effects of being kind to others than to oneself (Currently reading Naclerio et al., 2025)

A very common advice, in my experience especially when we feel overworked, or struggle with climate anxiety, is that we should invest in some self-care, be kind to ourselves. Turns out, however, that this might not the best advice.

In a study run during the pandemic, Naclerio et al. (2025) investigate three conditions: a control condition (so business as usual), and two intervention conditions that perform three acts of kindness per week; one group does kindness towards themselves (for example go hiking for a day, or cooking themselves their favourite meal), and the other group does kindness towards others (for example texting or calling someone to say hi, or sending a treat or even link). So these acts of kindness are really small, and the intervention runs only over two weeks (so for six acts of kindness!).

Nevertheless, in the group that was kind to others, Naclerio et al. (2025) found increased perceived connectedness (but it is not clear whether that is purely because they reached out to more people as their acts of kindness and therefore were, in fact, more connected, or if it is due to some other process) and a decrease in anxiety, loneliness and and depression, whereas in the group that was kind to themselves, they only found decreased depression, but participants in that group had positive feelings while doing their acts of kindness towards themselves.

I find this really interesting, because we so often receive — and give — the advice to invest more in self-care and kindness towards oneself. It is, in some form or other, part of all the advice I have seen on how to deal with climate anxiety, specifically. But what if we should really focus on acts of care for others, as the ultimate self-care? In their discussion, Naclerio et al. (2025) mention another study that found that “givers underestimate the positive impact a prosocial act will have on a recipient, focussing more on their competence to complete the act than the warmth a recipient will feel“. What if we were less focussed on ourselves, consciously made an effort to focus on the warmth a recipient will feel, and despite all our self-doubts did more of those acts of kindness towards others? Even thought the process through which that has positive mental health impacts for us isn’t well-understood yet, it surely cannot hurt, neither “the others” nor ourselves.

Naclerio, M., Lazar, L., Hornstein, E. A., & Eisenberger, N. I. (2025). Exploring the effects of prosocial and self-kindness interventions on mental health outcomes. Emotion.

This morning’s mental health self-care intervention: Going to dip before a long day teaching online! It definitely felt good to walk to the beach just in time for sunrise!

And then I took — of course — way too many sunrise wave watching pics, and cannot decide which ones are the best ones, so you get to see all of them.

(Not actually true, this is only about 1/5th of what I took…)

But they are so beautiful, and I don’t even mind the dirty lens!

This is what it looks like underwater. I love how there are spots where the sun breaks through when the angle of the surface relative to the sun rays is just right!

I cannot believe how beautiful it is!

Oooopsie, wave!

It might not be as good as acts of service for others, but it still makes me very happy!

And there is always the option to be kind to oneself AND to others…

But look at how beautiful it was!

I just love water!